TVL Letters

May 2006
TV Licensing Officers will soon be visiting.
Bring it on!
June 2006
WE ARE PLANNING TO TAKE FURTHER ACTION
Ooooh! Also note that it's signed by Richard Goodbody.
He went to Iraq in May for six months. Very conscientious.
July 2006
OFFICIAL WARNING - THIS PROPERTY IS UNLICENSED
Thanks, but I already knew!
They caught 33,781 people in June.
August 2006
OFFICIAL WARNING
I think I should be getting scared about now.
Richard is still sending letters from Iraq!
September 2006
WARNING AGAINST UNLAWFUL ACTION
I think I should be getting REALLY scared about now.
They caught 33,781 people in August,
exactly the same number as they caught in June.
Do they stop visiting once they get to 33,781 or
are they lying about the number they catch?
October 2006
Our Enforcement Officers could now visit you in the evening or at weekends.
Yet another letter from Richard in Iraq!
I wonder if he's scaring the insurgents as much as he's scaring me!
I'm usually doing something far more interesting than watching TV in the evenings and at weekends.
(like obeying the voices in my head telling me to clean my guns)
November 2006
This one is the same as May.
Have they no imagination?
December 2006
This one is the same as June.
Obviously not.
Jan 2007
This one is from me to Richard, sent by recorded delivery after the 'visit'. (Thanks to M. Shakey)
Note that I have "Withdrawn Implied Right of Access".
This means if they walk up my garden path they are trespassing.
Feb 2007
This one is their reply. I don't think Gemma read my letter.
Note reference to "..confirmation of this fact in NSA1..." then read NSA1.
Feb 2007
This is NSA1 referred to in previous letter. I don't see "....confirmation of this fact...".
I don't think Suzanne read my letter either.

Question (rhetorical) Do TVL only employ morons?
Mar 2008
Re-Commencement of Hostilities
Despite Gemma writing in February 2007 to say that I now have a protective guard on my address for APPROXIMATELY 3 years, Michelle Tunstall has written to me in March 2008 to inform me of (threaten me with) another visit.
As I have withdrawn implied right of access the visit WILL constitute trespass.
I would also like to know who informed Capita that no TV is in use at my address as I certainly didn't.